Kid Me Not
by Hanneli
Summary: RoseScorpius twoshot. Rose denies, Al meddles, Scorpius is, of course, caught in the middle. What else is new?
1. Chapter 1

**As in my other Rose/Scorpius story, I've decided that they, along with Al, are in Gryffindor. But don't be mistaken: this isn't a sequel to GWWNFY. Thanks, guys :) **

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Kid Me Not

**History of Magic**

**Gryffindor House**

**7 February, 2023**

_In conclusion, the goblin wars of the seventeenth century could have been completely avoided had our Ministry exercised enough foresight to recognise the inevitability of a rebellion which had been in the works for hundreds of years._

Rose laid down her quill and scanned the long piece of parchment for any glaring errors or inaccuracies. Finding none, she allowed a small smile of contentment to form upon her lips. The effort that had gone into this paper was worth it; Professor Kinegal would doubtlessly reflect her hard work with an "O". There was something deeply satisfying about a well-earned "O".

"Time's up! Please put down your quills and place your essays on the left side of your desk—you included, Aimeson," called Professor Kinegal, looking pointedly at a boy still writing in the back of the class. He glared at her and reluctantly obeyed.

Allowing herself one last glance at her pristine piece of paper, Rose suddenly felt as if somebody had simultaneously kicked her in the stomach, cut off her air supply and poured lemon juice into her eyes.

_I love Scorpius. Scorpius is a sexy beast. I love Scorpius. Scorpius is a sexy beast. I love Scorpius. Scorpius is a…_

Over a thousand well-thought out words somehow, somehow replaced by this?! Rose snatched at the paper frantically, but it was already flying away from her, Summoned by Professor Kinegal's charm. Losing her head completely, Rose jumped up from her seat and screeched, "_Professor!_"

Professor Kinegal approached her seat with unbearable slowness. Sounding aggrieved: "_Yes_, Miss Weasley?"

Rose's voice dropped to a hysterical whisper. "I need that paper back, Professor, just for a moment, please—I need it!"

Professor Kinegal was insultingly unconcerned. "I'm afraid that's impossible, Miss Weasley. You have had two hours to write this essay, as has everyone else. If you haven't finished, I must advise you to improve your time management skills and hope that the results will show in your next assignment." She said all this a little too loudly for Rose's taste.

"No, Professor, oh, no, it's not that!" said Rose desperately, raising her voice slightly. "Please just—"

"Better luck next time, Miss Weasley," said Professor Kinegal as she turned away, essentially ending the conversation.

Rose slumped back into her seat. Mind going a mile a minute, she succeeded somewhat in suppressing the urge to panic and looked over at Scorpius, who was sitting in the same spot as she, three rows over on the right. He was clearly oblivious to the words that had appeared on the piece of parchment. Good. That was one thing in his favour right now. Rose looked away hastily when he caught her eyes. Was it a good thing that he looked concerned?

Al, then. Two rows to the left and one seat back, he was preoccupied with a rather nasty coughing fit.

Rose narrowed her eyes. _Laughing _fit, more like.

"Class dismissed," said Professor Kinegal. "I'm not assigning any work today, but I expect everyone to come prepared next class. We'll be looking at the wizard-Muggle crises of the eighteenth century, and I warn you, there's a lot of material to cover!"

Normally Rose would have been listening attentively, probably even jotting down a note or two, but today saw her grabbing her book-bag and darting after Al, who had vanished after hearing the two magic words.

She stopped as soon as she reached the end of corridor. The rest of the students were just now beginning to file out of the classroom, and Al's absence was quickly making Rose angrier than a hornet.

"_Albus Severus Potter!_" she yelled, and before she even had a chance to utter the rest of the threat, she was greeted with a hissed, "_Shut up!_" Armed with all she needed to know, Rose stalked toward the broom cupboard and yanked it open with a certain ferociousness. Lo and behold, her beloved cousin was sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"You!" she sputtered, and the guilt Al had never mastered concealing told her that she had not jumped to any incorrect conclusions. "What… the… h—"

"Can I just say that murdering me outside Professor Kinegal's room will put a very black mark on your near-flawless record?" said Al. Despite the guilty face, he looked infuriatingly unremorseful.

"Al, I just don't understand you sometimes!" cried Rose. "Have I done something to embarrass you recently? 'Cause I didn't realise telling your mum that you threw up in Care of Magical Creatures would warrant something like this! _Why_, Al?"

"Yeah, I'd forgotten about that. That was pretty rotten of you; now everyone's always bringing it up at family dinners!"

"No, no, no!" said Rose. "You can use that against me some other time, but you sure as heck can't bring it up now. Not after _that_, which I believe you were in the process of explaining."

"Er, yeah, that was sort of an impulse thing. I kinda just felt like getting a reaction out of you," said Al, edging out of the cramped cupboard as best he could. "But if you wanted to—I mean _really_ wanted to—you could see how this could be a good thing for you in the long run!"

"Do tell," said Rose, laying on the sarcasm.

"Your essay—I noticed you cut a little close in terms of time today, Rosie," said Al with a straight face. "Why do think that was? Hmm?"

"Gee, Al," said Rose stonily, "I'm not sure, but knowing you, there's some far-fetched answer that has nothing to do with me simply having a lot to say."

Al laughed. "Somehow I think the only thing far-fetched will be the excuse you give me when I remind you of how you were looking up to stare at Scorpius Malfoy every five minutes. Somehow I think that may have taken a toll on your 'time management skills'."

Shocked, Rose's jaw dropped a few centimetres before she flew into a full-fledged rage.

"Albus Severus, you complete_ prat_, I should hex you into the next MILLENIUM!"

"Hi, Rosie. Hi, Al." While the other students had scampered off in favour of other attractions (food), it seemed that Scorpius had lingered behind.

"Hi, Scorpius!" chirped Rose brightly, not a twinge of upset in her voice. Al had to resist the urge to snort. He nodded and greeted Scorpius instead.

Scorpius' gaze was focused on Rose alone. "Is everything all right, Rosie?" he said, a tad awkwardly. "I don't want to pry or anything, but… er… well, I thought something might be wrong."

Whether he was referencing her outburst in class or the fact that she was clearly about to send a very nasty jinx his friend's way, Rose was unsure. However, she lowered her voice a few pitches. With the exception of the babbling, she sounded more normal when she said, "Nope! Not a thing. No-thing, in fact."

"Oh… okay," said Scorpius uncertainly, probably wondering what in Merlin's name was up. Internally Rose was cursing herself for sounding so idiotic, but really, what was the point? This was nothing compared to how she'd look when Professor Kinegal got to her essay.

"So—how are you?"

Not trusting himself to hold in the laughter that only such uncomfortable small talk could provoke, Al subtly wandered a little ways off. May as well let them _think _they had a little privacy.

"Rosie?" said Scorpius. He hoped most fervently that his voice wasn't betraying any nervousness. "It's, just, you know… Hogsmeade weekend… wondering… if we could go together?" Had that made sense? He couldn't remember.

A breath away from an eager "yes", Rose caught herself. Al was standing right there, smirking his head off. As if she couldn't see him!

"Oh, er, Scorpius," she said, stammering slightly. "I can't. I'm sorry. I… I can't." She wished there were some other way to put it, because "I don't want to" was even less truthful.

"It's fine," said Scorpius quickly. Mercifully, he did not ask her if she had other plans. "I guess I'll you around, then." Having quite forgotten Al's presence, he took off.

Rose watched him as he turned the corner. When she was quite certain he was gone she turned to face Al. "I hope you're happy," she said simply.

"Ah, Rose," he replied, rolling his eyes. "You shouldn't've done that."

"Not one word!" she told him. "You'd just better hope I forgive you, Albus Potter. Maybe you'd better start thinking of ways to make it up to me, because I could make your life exceedingly miserable if I wanted to."

"You're more than capable, of course, but I'm sure you'd never do that to your dearest cousin," said Al knowingly.

"I'm going to fail, Al! Fail! _Lily's_ never done anything remotely as horrible as this to me. Nor has James, for that matter!"

"You should tell Scorpius you'll go to Hogsmeade with him. You've hurt the poor bloke's feelings, and besides, you _want _to go!" said Al, exasperation creeping into his voice.

"No, I don't!" retorted Rose, far from sure why she was lying. All she knew was that right now Al deserved to be lied to, and besides, what right did he have to tell her what to do? Shaking her head, she turned and walked off.

"_Tell_ him," called Al after her. "Tell him, Rosie!"

As she rounded the same corner Scorpius had so recently passed, Rose tried to understand how a person could, in the space of half an hour, go from being relatively carefree to having not one, but _two_ issues on their mind. At least she knew which one had precedence.

Probably.

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**I really, really hope I can get part two up by Valentine's Day. If I can I will! Hopefully there are people out there who actually want to read it, too. **

**Well, I would certainly love to hear your thoughts, but please don't feel obligated! If you have time and are willing... well, I'm sure you can find your way to the review button. ;)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Love, Hanneli**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I owe everyone an explanation, so here it is (the basic outline, since I'm sure no one wants to be bored with the details):**

**To make a long story short, I had a bit of a health scare on February 12th, and I ended up spending about a week and a half in the hospital. Don't feel too sorry for me, though; you should have seen the number of pity roses I got on Valentine's Day. ;) I'm perfectly all right now, but my mother flat-out refused to bring me my laptop while I was at the hospital 'cause she thought it was a good thing for me to get away from it for awhile... bah! So, I've been home since the 24th, desperately trying to make up the ungodly amount of work/tests/exams/other assignments I missed while bed-ridden. Heck, I even had to go to make-up dance classes because I missed so much. So I hope you understand why it took so very long for me to update this time. I truly am very sorry, and want to thank you for both your patience and the fact that you actually read this way-too-long Author's Note.**

**Love and more love,**

**Hanneli

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Gryffindor Common Room**

**7 February, 2023**

**Almost-but-not-quite-ten-at-night**

Scorpius Malfoy. Kinegal's essay. Scorpius Malfoy. Kinegal's essay. Both subjects had clouded Rose's mind throughout the day, and whenever she succeeded in banishing one thought she was met by its no less troubling alternative. Shamefully, Rose could admit to herself that the one she thought of most often was not the one she ought to have been worrying about.

The day was almost at its end, and the common room grew fuller as students returned before their ten o'clock curfew from the corridors. Among these stragglers was Al, who carried a small box Rose fervently hoped, for his sake, was a peace offering. Still, she stubbornly ignored him until he seated himself beside her on the couch and held the box out. She accepted it as grudgingly as possible, unwilling to let him off the hook so quickly.

"A half-eaten box of chocolates. You really are too sweet, Al," said Rose drily.

Al shrugged. "You weren't at dinner. Even I felt bad about that. So I got you these."

"Really," said Rose sceptically. "That's funny, because this note says" — she held it up so he could see — "Dear Rosie, ignore the prat, they're from me. Love, Lily." She raised an eyebrow, an ancient habit.

Al waggled his own eyebrow, an atypical action. Rose was nonplussed. She followed his gaze and needed no further explanation: Scorpius, climbing through the portrait hole. Dropping the box onto the couch in semi-disgust, she told him, "Forget it." She went over to the opposite wall and leaned against it, crossing her arms defensively.

Scorpius dawdled around the entrance to the room, as if he hadn't decided something yet—or just wasn't quite sure what to do. Dropping her arms, Rose deliberated for just a second and approached him before she could change her mind.

Hoping not to give Al any reason to pay close attention, she refrained from speaking at all until she was standing directly in front of Scorpius, who seemed torn between making eye contact and looking away until he was certain that it was him she was approaching. He looked happily surprised upon realising that it was. He gave Rose an easy smile she didn't feel she deserved. Her internal organs, vastly less concerned, did cartwheels.

"Can I—can I have a word with you? Just… here?" Rose smiled, a bit nervously, in case he assumed she was upset with him. That was the last thing she wanted.

"Of course," said Scorpius, and, as Rose had expected, appeared a trifle uneasy at her tone. She hadn't meant to sound so solemn, but then again, she didn't want him to get the impression that she thought of this as some big joke.

"I just wanted to apologise for earlier," she said, beginning tentatively. "I blew you off, and I really didn't give you any explanation, did I? Well, I know I didn't. See, I was distracted; I wasn't really thinking clearly, and if I hadn't been so angry at Al I would've said yes… I mean… oh, that does not make sense." Rose screwed up her eyes and mentally berated herself for saying too much. "Damnit. I'm sorry. That's what I meant." She could literally feel her cheeks growing redder by the minute.

Scorpius ducked his head and said, "You were upset with Al, then? Why?" Realising what he was asking, he added. "Don't tell me if I'm prying, which I am, probably. It's just that I was wondering before."

Rose sighed. "Let's just say that the fact that I spent nearly two hours carefully plotting and planning and writing and editing my baby—er, my essay—is not going to make much of difference once Professor Kinegal sees the alterations Al made before I could _stop_ him."

"I offered to help!" called Al, who had twisted around in his seat half the room away take part in the conversation.

"No, you didn't!" Rose shot back, tearing her eyes off Scorpius for the sake of clarification. She privately resolved to further lower her voice.

"Really?" A puzzled expression crossed Al's face. "Huh. Well, can I?"

"Thanks, but no thanks."

Al shrugged and returned to his original position. "Well, suit yourself."

Rose returned her gaze to Scorpius' face to find him looking pensive.

"Can I?"

"Sorry?" she said blankly, trying to remember if he had asked her a question.

"Can I help you?" he said, apparently surprised it wasn't obvious.

Rose didn't quite know what to say. "Scorpius… it's really nice of you to offer and everything but I honestly don't know if there's anything you or I _could_ do! That piece of parchment is safe and sound in Professor Kinegal's office by now; it's not looking good for me."

Scorpius smiled and shrugged. "Anything's possible if you're up for a bit of an adventure, Rosie."

Rose couldn't help smiling. "You sounded frighteningly like James just now."

"What do you say?" he asked earnestly. "I'll help you rewrite the essay; we'll sneak down and switch it before Professor Kinegal knows the difference."

"It's far too much trouble for you, Scorpius," Rose protested.

"I want to help," he said simply, and Rose felt her argument wearing thin.

"And if we're caught?"

Scorpius grinned. "Then we'll get Professor Longbottom to intervene, of course. I hear he's a good friend of the family."

Potential decision teetering in mid-air, Rose felt obligated to say, "You're sure?"

Scorpius nodded. "Perfectly."

"Let's do it, then," said Rose happily. In her elation she almost forgot the impossibility of the situation. Recreate her prized essay and somehow manage to make it past whatever security Professor Kinegal had placed on her office? She would have objected to the entire scheme but for the gleeful desire to spend the time with Scorpius, especially without her cousin's interference.

Scorpius led the way to one of the small tables along the wall of the common room, producing parchment and a couple of quills from his bag. Rose found that with his help, the task of reproducing the piece of writing was much less difficult than she would have imagined. Whenever her mind ran blank and she couldn't recall more than the gist of what she had written, his knack for sensing where she was going with a thought proved itself extremely beneficial. In just over an hour and a half they had reached the conclusion, which, fortunately, Rose remembered word for word thanks to the incident immediately following it the first time around.

"We finished," said Rose, delighted. "We finished and it's—" she rose to her feet and looked around to find an empty room, "—wow. Late."

"That it is," said Scorpius, joining her. "So… you ready to risk getting skinned alive?"

"I suppose," she said, giggling nervously. "I just—wait! No! I need to grab something—back in a second." And she dashed off up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, reappearing just seconds later dragging Al by the wrist, him being still mostly asleep.

"Al?" said Scorpius, clearly confused.

Rose nodded, quite pleased. "Well, he did say he wanted to help, and no one is more masterful at sneaking around than him, isn't that right?" she said, the last part addressing Al. "Besides, who knows if we'll need a diversion."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Al, who was by then starting to catch the gist of the words being spoken. "Diversion? I don't—" He was silenced by a look from Rose. "Well, at least tell me where we're going!"

"Professor Kinegal's office," said Rose, holding up the newly completed essay. Al's eyes lit up; he understood.

"Damn, I wish I hadn't lent the Cloak to James!" he said regretfully. "But what's a bit more challenge? Let's go."

They found the corridors dark and deserted, being as it was almost midnight. As long as they were quiet, they had a good chance of escaping the notice of any professors still awake. Rose felt daunted upon actually reaching the office, for here was the part she had been most anxious about.

"How are we supposed to get in?" she whispered to Scorpius. "We don't know her password or any of the enchantments she would've—"

"Oh, don't worry about that," said Al smugly. "_Alohomora._" The door swung open.

"That's it?" said Rose, disbelieving.

"Our dear professor is a very trusting soul," Al replied, in a mock-serious voice.

"You two go on and switch the papers; I'll stay and keep watch," said Scorpius, prodding them on.

Rose and Al disappeared through the entrance; the moment they were out of earshot, Rose whispered, "Please, please, _please _don't tell him."

"Tell him what… exactly?" Al played along.

"Why we're here," said Rose intently. "What you did to my essay. Trust me, he's happier not knowing."

"Well, I don't know about that…" said Al teasingly. "But I suppose the least I could do is keep my mouth shut, huh?"

"You are very right about that," said Rose, as she searched the room for the mound of papers she had watched Professor Kinegal carry off. Locating it on a chair next to the professor's desk, she let out a huge sigh of relief. "Look, she hasn't even touched them yet!" She pulled out the original paper and replaced it with the new version, muttering an obliteration charm before anything else could happen.

"Right, let's get out of here," said Al, already halfway out the door. Scorpius had the presence of mind to utter a rushed "_Colloportus_" before they took off, hoping their good luck would continue just a little while longer.

They were almost at the Gryffindor common room, so close to success, when the footsteps came. Not wasting any time with panicking, Rose and Scorpius dove behind the nearest tapestry, flattening themselves against the wall. Al, resigned, did not.

The footsteps stopped within seconds.

"…Potter?" It was Professor Kinegal's voice. Rose prayed she was just returning from a night-time stroll.

"Good evening, Professor," came Al's voice. "I love your slippers. Very fuzzy."

"Potter, what in Merlin's name are you doing out at this hour?" said Professor Kinegal angrily.

"I thought you might like a glass of water, Professor," said Al politely. "But I see you've already got one, so I guess I'll be on my way."

"I don't think so, Potter," said Professor Kinegal. "Are you alone?"

"Oh, no, Professor," came Al's voice, unmistakeably tinged with sarcasm, "Rose and Scorpius are snogging behind that tapestry there—why don't you have a look?"

Even from her current position Rose could sense that Professor Kinegal was less than amused.

"Since you're such a night-owl, Potter, your detention will begin immediately. Come with me." Two pairs of footsteps could be heard, both eventually fading to nothing.

Rose peeked around the tapestry. Motioning to Scorpius that it was safe to come out, she left the makeshift sanctuary.

"Poor Al," she said, giggling.

Scorpius smiled. "You know, Rosie, you have some pretty amazing cousins."

"Yeah, well, I suppose Al's all right when he's not being a git," said Rose fondly. She glanced at him sideways. "I guess we'd better get back before we're really asking to be caught."

"Yeah," Scorpius agreed, "we really should."

"Scorpius?"

"Yeah?"

Rose leaned out and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for making me do this."

Scorpius blushed. "You shouldn't thank me."

Rose grinned. "Yes, I should. I never would have done it if it weren't for you. And…" She took a deep breath. "I was hoping your Hogsmeade invitation was still open. I'll understand if it isn't."

"It's always open, Rosie."

_The end._


End file.
